


A Duck’s Life

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crack, Ducks, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8347225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: McKay and Sheppard are turned into ducks.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KimberlyFDR](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimberlyFDR/gifts).



> This is for kimberlyfdr who gave me the prompt “You realise that’s a duck, right?” 
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal in 2008.

“You realise that’s a duck, right?”

“Technically, yes.”

“Technically?” Lorne repeated from the doorway where he was currently lounging. He’d come down to the labs on the lookout for the pretty redhead biologist but had found Zelenka instead, alone apart from a duck. Lorne realised he’d probably been in Pegasus too long when this only aroused vague curiosity.

“Technically it is a duck,” Zelenka replied as the duck on his desk flapped its wings and waddled over to his keyboard and tried to type. Lorne began to feel the first stirrings of concern when another duck joined the first. It headed straight toward the typing duck and began soothing down ruffled feathers. It was kinda cute. “Technically also it is Colonel Sheppard and Dr McKay.”

“Oh, crap.”

++++++++++++++

“What happened?” Elizabeth asked, anxiously running her fingers through John’s feathers, much to Rodney’s annoyance. He was sitting at the other side of the makeshift pen on Elizabeth’s desk and looking to all the world as if he was sulking.

“The object Major Lorne’s team recovered on their last mission seems to be a matter converter,” Zelenka reported, consulting his notes.

“To ducks?” Ronon asked, not bothering to conceal his smile.

Rodney quacked. John disentangled himself from Elizabeth’s reach and went over to Rodney who turned his back on him. The others were sure they detected a long-suffering sigh as John kept prodding at Rodney with his beak until they were both sitting next to each other, snuggling together without an apparent care in the world.

“You need to fix this Radek.”

“It will take some time to reverse the situation. I can let you know…in an hour.”

“Very well.” Elizabeth took a deep breath, there were some things you just couldn’t train for. “In the meantime, Lorne can take over Sheppard’s duties and Ronon and Teyla,” she looked over at them and tried not to return their smiles, “perhaps you can find them a pool?”

++++++++++++++

Teyla and Ronon carried the two ducks into Sheppard’s room, much to Rodney’s disgust, although John seemed quite happy snuggling up to Teyla. Rodney kept quacking in protest and flapping his wings until Ronon clamped his beak shut with his fingers and Rodney was forced to calm down. The ducks were placed on the bed while Ronon went to fetch a storage box they could fill with water and Teyla went to find a bucket.

Rodney waddled over to the edge of the bed and looked down. John quacked warningly, but Rodney wouldn’t budge. As Teyla came back in, followed by Zelenka, John turned to them and ruffled his feathers: it looked very much like he was shrugging.

“John touched the artefact, I believe?” Teyla asked.

“Yes, yes, he and Rodney were debating different uses of kyptonite when the Colonel picked up the device. McKay grabbed it from him and,” arms flailing, “poof!”

Ronon barrelled into the room between them and dropped the storage box down. “Why ducks?” he repeated his earlier question. Zelenka was stumped.

“Will it take long to reverse?” Teyla asked, watching Ronon fill up the box with water, using the bucket she had provided.

“Six hours, maybe.”

Rodney quacked loudly, startling them all.

“Maybe three,” Zelenka corrected before hurrying out of the room on the way to the labs. He was less disturbed about the fact that his friend had become a duck, and more by the fact that even in his present condition he knew exactly what Rodney was trying to say.

Once the box was full Ronon lifted Rodney up first and dropped him in. Rodney sank straight to the bottom, much to John’s evident alarm, until he shot back up to the surface, spluttering and kicking his webbed feet as he found his balance. Ronon reached down to check on him, only for Rodney to snap at him with a surprisingly strong beak.

“He’s fine,” Ronon told Teyla and John, rubbing at his hand. Teyla bit her lip to stop from smiling and gently lifted John up and put him on the water. With surprising grace he immediately swam over to Rodney and began pushing and prodding at him, searching for injuries. Rodney flapped his wings a little at first but as John continued to fuss he found himself relaxing into the touch and began to return the favour. Teyla and Ronon watched their teammates for a little while but they seemed oblivious to anything but each other.

“I will see if I can find some suitable food for them,” Teyla suggested. “Rodney is certain to get hungry soon.”

“Okay. I’ve got to get something too,” Ronon told her.

“What are you going to get?” Teyla asked suspiciously.

“A camera,” Ronon replied, grin spreading across his face.

 

++++++++++++

 

“I don’t believe you _groomed_ me,” Rodney hissed, drying his hair with a towel.

“You didn’t exactly complain,” John snapped, though more from embarrassment than anger.

It was seven hours later and Zelenka was looking very sheepish in the corner. He’d tried to explain all the problems they’d had re-sequencing the DNA but one glare from Rodney had him silenced.

“I thought you looked cute,” Ronon commented, which is when the pair of them saw the camera in his hand.

“You didn’t?” they asked simultaneously, before glaring at each other.

Ronon merely laughed and went out to find Lorne. He’d promised to get the pictures blown up and posted in the Gateroom.

“It is good to have you both back,” Teyla told them before also leaving, dragging a grateful Zelenka with her.

They finished drying off and putting on clean clothes in silence. Rodney snapped first.

“It’s all your fault.”

“My fault? If you hadn’t been insisting that green kryptonite…”

“You’re the one that can’t keep his hands to himself! Mr…McGrabby…”

“McGrabby?” John laughed. “Is that the best you can do?”

Rodney spluttered, his arms waving. “You…”

“Oh, don’t get your feathers in a twist, Rodney. We’re fine. No harm, no fowl.”

Rodney groaned. “You really did just go there, didn’t you?”

John smirked. “Do you want to grab something to eat? I hear fish is on the menu.”

Rodney looked at him as if he’d grown another head. “I’ll be quite happy if I never see another fish again.”

“We could do something else?” John suggested, walking closer to Rodney.

“Like?” Rodney asked suspiciously. John leaned forward and ran his hand through Rodney’s hair, smiling softly to himself as Rodney’s eyes immediately shuttered closed and he leaned into John’s touch.

“I’m sure we’ll think of something.”


End file.
